Saturday, 31 August 2013

Evil Dead (2013) - Will's Review

Right up front, I'm going to stick a big fat "Will Recommends" on this. If you haven't seen it yet, go do so; don't read this review, and don't read any publicity materials. In fact no: make sure you have seen at least the first 2 original Evil Dead

Still here? You've hopefully already seen the film then, so this will be less of a review, and more my side of a discussion about why it was clever / great.

One more thing - did you watch the closing credits? All of them? If not; back you go... I'll wait.

Evil Dead 2013 - Lisa's Review

This week, the 2013 remake of Evil Dead, again starring Bruce Campbell.  A group of young attractive types who go to a cabin in the woods and upon stumbling across the Necronomicon (book of the dead) they manage inadvertantly to release evil spirits.  All kinds of hell, possession and murder ensues.

That's not to say this is a bad movie, it is far from it.  It is enjoyable enough as a stand-alone movie.  It's when you start to compare it to the original that we encounter problems.

Sadly none of the cast (apart from Campbell) are memorable and although the movie is not played for laughs like the original, there are parts which will genuinely make you giggle (which certainly was not the intended effect).  The gore is a bit OTT and what a human body seems able to take before expiring is indeed inhuman!  I suppose believability is not something one should expect from a movie about possession and the evil dead, sadly though, I do.

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Week 119 - Evil Dead (2013)

Year: 2013
Reviews / Author Comments due: 31/08/2013
Reason for Inclusion: remake / new chapter in the series that started with the DPP classic
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2013
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Within The Woods - Will's Review

I struggle to get a full length review from most 90 minute movies, so how well I'll fair with a half hour student film, we shall see...

But of course, this isn't just any 30 minute student film... This is Sam Rami's, Bruce Campbell staring, student film, about 4 friends who head off to a cabin in the woods, where they disturb an ancient evil; in other words this is Evil Dead 0: The Prototype.

Saturday, 24 August 2013

Within The Woods - Lisa's Review

A novel one this week.  A mere 32 minutes long and a short movie by Sam Raimi that went on to be remade with a significantly larger budget as Evil Dead.

It starred mostly Mr Raimi's friends, but he was lucky enough to have Bruce Campbell in it also!!  (not that you would know... he shows none of his characteristic massive persona in this offering).

This movie was released in 1978 and any surviving copies are very difficult to watch due to the quality of the recording.  It is available on Youtube if you want a nosey.

What can I say?  I thought that mostly it was gawd awful.  Dated in a way that is difficult to get past (for me at least) and with a budget soooo low, you wonder how on earth he managed to get funding for Evil Dead.

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

week 118 - Within The Woods (bootleg)

Year: 1978
Reviews / Author Comments due: 24/08/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Short movie version of DPP classic The Evil Dead, made before the original.
BBFC Status: Never Submitted
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: No official release 


Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Sunday, 18 August 2013

Welcome to the Jungle - Will's Review

The makers of The Blair Witch Project cited the original Cannibal Holocaust as a major influence - it seems strange then, that this (supposed - more on that later) Holocaust remake shares more DNA with Blair Witch than it does with its own direct ancestor.

Saturday, 17 August 2013

Welcome To The Jungle - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

So this movie brings us back to our original 'Video Nasties' challenge, as it's a remake of banned movie Cannibal Holocaust.  I wasn't a fan of the original movie, mostly due to the use of footage with real animal deaths, something I abhore.  Lets see how I got on with the movie minus the animal nastiness.

When this movie started and for the first 20-30 minutes, I thought it was going to be quite good.  A decent amount of time is spent introducing us to the main 4 characters, giving us an idea of personality types, how the individuals are linked and allowing us to form opinions and have the potential for empathy later in the movie.

We have 2 couples (the established one having been together for 2 weeks, the other having just met) who decide to head from Fiji to the jungle outside New Guinea to attempt to locate Michael Rockefeller, son of New York Governor who disappeared in 1961.  Obviously with the area being full of indigenous tribes and there being armed criminals enroute, this is quite a dangerous jaunt.

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

WEEK 117 - Welcome to the Jungle

Year: 2007
Reviews / Author Comments due: 17/08/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Remake of DPP movie Cannibal Holocaust
BBFC Status: Not Submitted, Nominally banned
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: Blu-Ray Import

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Monday, 12 August 2013

The Trip - Will's Review

Another tough one this week, as we have very little in the form of plot to comment on.

In the middle of a divorce, advertising director, Paul (Peter Fonda) decides to experiment with LSD. Quite sensibly, he decides to take his first trip in the company of a sober friend, John, who uses the drug himself.

Saturday, 10 August 2013

The Trip - Lisa's Review

This weeks movie review is going to be very short as I could make sod all sense of it.

To me this movie is simply a string of weird, unrelated scenes all mashed together with really irritating 60's trippy music and psychedelic overlays.

The story here is one of a young guy called Paul Groves (played by Peter Fonda) who is rather depressed to be going through a divorce.  He makes a decision to embark on an LSD trip under the guidance of his friend John, an advocate of the drug.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Week 116: The Trip

Year: 1967
Reviews / Author Comments due: 11/8/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Banned for 46 years, refused classification 4 times.
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2003
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Monday, 5 August 2013

Anthropophagous 2000 - Will's Review

Oh, what to say about this one? While the original was no masterpiece or summer blockbuster, one still has to question the wisdom of a bunch of amateurs re-making it on a budget of 27p; watching it though, that appears to be what has happened.

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Anthropophagous 2000 - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS *** (for what it's worth)

There are sometimes weeks when the movie isn't that hot, sometimes it's awful and sometimes we are very tempted to write "This was absolute shite" and leave it at that.  Sadly, for me, this was the latter.

This movie is a remake of 1980 movie of the same name (removing the 2000).  While the original movie wasn't all that hot, this one is just absolute bollocks!  I suppose I should elaborate as to why I felt this was the case?

I'm not going to go into detail as to the premise, as I very much doubt anyone will want to see this movie on the strength of my review.  Man kills his wife when she refuses to let him eat their dead child to survive after an accident at sea.  He eats them both and then goes mad and kills and eats other people.  That should about sum it up for you.  Why didn't I enjoy it?

The acting was probably amongst the worst I have seen.  The gore looked like something a GSCE art student produced (that's probably an insult to GCSE art students).  Victims are replaced with what looks like a rubber model of themselves (that bears absolutely no resemblance to them) and then over the top, unrealistic, ridiculous gore is spattered upon us.

Monday, 29 July 2013

Week 115: Anthropophagous 2000

Year: 1999
Reviews / Author Comments due: 3/8/13
Reason for Inclusion: Remake of DDP nasty, Anthropophagous
BBFC Status: Never passed, therefore nominally banned.
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: Euro Import

No Trailer

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Mark of the Devil - Will's Review

I was quite looking forward to the week's movie; it's a reader recommendation (via our Facebook Page), and it has Udo Kier in it!

Our last Reader Request was Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS, while Naziploitation isn't my favourite genre, Ilsa was one of the better examples.

Sadly this weeks movie is, in all but the trappings, a run of the mill naziplotation movie. Swap out Nazis for the church, the SS for witchfinders, Jews for peasants, and the Camp for a small village, and it's the same old same old.
The acting is terrible, save for Keir; who doesn't exactly give a career best performance himself, and spends most of the film in trousers so tight that an interested observer could probably narrow down his religion.
Against the stock background of people (mostly women) being tortured is the story of the Witch-finder general's student/protégé/apprentice (Kier) realising that his beliefs are not all they're cracked up to be.

Aside from that its a fairly standard 70s/80s torture movie; nothing to write home about, but not terrible either.

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Mark of the Devil - Lisa's Review

*** Spoilers ***

I'm not going to spend a long time on this one.  For me the high point was that it had Udo Kier in it!  A very young Mr Kier, but the intensity is still there.

If you think Witchfinder General with gore and tits and you've pretty much summed this one up.

The movie basically centers around the torturing and murder of what seems any attractive young person, both male and female (but mostly female) who is suspected to be a witch.   These acts are ordered by an evil Lord Cumberland, all under the guise of religion and god.  We also have one of the most horrid men I've ever set eyes on - Albino, who concocts acts these poor women are supposed to have carried out (all untrue) just so he can brand them as witches and rape and torture them.

Udo plays a very young apprentice/pupil Count Christian Von Meruh.  He is the supposed 'good guy'... well as good as you're going to get in this movie.  Kier inevitably falls in love with one of the accused young women and starts to question the practices and what is going on.

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Week 114 - Mark of the Devil

Year: 1970
Reviews / Author Comments due: 27/7/13
Reason for Inclusion: Reader request via facebook group
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2003
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 20 July 2013

Coffin Baby - Will's Review

Those of you who have been paying attention will know that Coffin Baby was the killer in the "Toolbox Murders" remake, and this film was originally "TBK: The Toolbox Murders 2" (TBK standing for 'Tool Box Killer').

At some point the decision to make this a sequel was dropped (originally it was to pick up where part one left off) and it was re-tooled into a stand alone movie.

Coffin Baby - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

Before I watched this movie, I noticed from a little online research that it wasn't especially popular.  Actually that's me being kind.  People seem to HATE this movie, thinking it a poor sequel to the remake of Toolbox Murders, so I wasn't expecting very much.

Did I hate the movie on the same level as most other people who submitted their opinions online?  It seems not.  It's an odd one.  There were aspects of this movie which were great!  I loved how it looked, the scene settings, the bad guy looked awesome, the gore was incredible.  Some of the scenes were amongst the most gruesome I have ever seen in a movie.  When I say most gruesome, what I mean is, they look very real.  There is no faffing about and suspense here.  It's in for the kill - pun intended!

Our basic premis here involves a young woman who is kidnapped by a murderer who is responsible for killing her sister.  He holds her captive and makes her watch while he tortures and murders others in front of her in many different adventurous ways.

The plot itself was sadly full of holes and raised many questions which were never answered or addressed.  Some details which seemed imporant throughout the story seemed to have been forgotten and were just left hanging.   In places the acting was a bit 'hammy' and overdone.  I have seen much, much worse though.

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Week 113 - Coffin Baby.

Alternate Titles : TBK: The Toolbox Murders 2
Year: 2013
Reviews / Author Comments due: DATE HERE
Reason for Inclusion: Sequel to the Remake of the DPP Nasty "The Toolbox Murders"
BBFC Status: Never submitted (nominally banned)
More Info: No Wikipedia Entry, IMDB
DVD: Euro Import

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Monday, 15 July 2013

Come Out And Play - Will's Review

My reviews of late have followed 2 patterns; they have been late, and they have been short.

Sadly, this is not the review to buck those trends.

For the lateness, I can only apologise; for the brevity, I feel I have an excuse.

This movie is a remake of week 99's "Who Can Kill a Child?", and in a perfect allegory for the film itself, a full length review would be much like that one, with all the same problems as its predecessor, and any changes would probably result in losing many of the best bits.

Saturday, 13 July 2013

Come Out And Play - Lisa's Review

This is a remake of the original Who Can Kill A Child? which we have already reviewed as part of 'Beyond Nasty'.  While we both enjoyed the original movie (read the review above for the premise), I have to say for me at least, this movie falls very far short.

Quite often you see a remake and think.... why?  What was the point in that?  Sometimes you hear a movie is going to be remade and you think... it may be ok, I'll give it a chance.  I was in the latter camp, having enjoyed the original but not having put it on some kind of pedestal, that the idea of a remake would have been abhorrant.

Sooo, why was I unimpressed?  Well the remake added nothing at all, so I struggle with the need for a remake.  As far as I could see, the only difference was a few more graphic images, which ironically were not as strong as the lack of a clear view in the original.  Images include the repeated stabbing and pelting with rocks of an elderly man who is being dragged through the street by his feet.  This ends with a rock being dropped on his head from a great height.  In the original movie, the old guy was actually used as a piñata by the kids and although the images were nowhere near as graphic, to me it seemed more sadistic and twisted to be using someone as an actual plaything.

We also see the body of a young woman which has had its faced pretty well caved in and its abdomen cut open and most of its contents removed.  The children are playing with the body and seem to have no squeamishness at all.  One girl actually wears severed fingers and ears as a necklace.

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Week 112 - Come Out and Play

Year: 2012
Reviews / Author Comments due: 13/07/13
Reason for Inclusion: Remake of possibly once listed as a Video Nasty "Who Can Kill A Child"
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2013
More Info: IMDB

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Murder Set Pieces - Wills Review

I'm not one for multiple drafts*, but I do like to spend a while thinking about what kind of thing I want to say in a review long before I put fingers to keyboard**; I'll walk around the house, constructing paragraphs in my head, thinking about if I should mention this bit, and how I can segue from one point to another. This week; I have struggled to find things to say.

The reason for my struggle is the plot, which is unbelievably thin: A photographer / neo-nazi, captures, then rapes and kills a whole bunch of women with fake breasts.

And that's it.

Saturday, 6 July 2013

Murder Set Pieces - Lisa's Review


This is a movie I hadn't heard anything about before today, so I pressed play with absolutely no knowledge of what awaited me whatsoever.

What can I say?  I was all ready to slate this movie due to its appalling lack of plot, flimsy character building and seemingly spliced together scenes, but on thinking about it outside of the box and outside of my own personal viewing preference, I can't be as critical as I would perhaps like to be.

To give some idea of what we're talking about here, Murder Set Pieces is a story of a german photographer living in Las Vegas who has a penchant for raping, torturing and murdering beautiful young women.  The movie mainly documents him picking up the women and their eventual demise.

The photographer is portrayed as an incredibly sadistic, immoral individual who it seems is driven to do what he does.  It doesn't even seem that he gets much enjoyment from his actions, but rather it's just normality for him.  We are given a tiny piece of background information on him in that his grandfather was an associate of Hitler and fought in WW2.  He has various Nazi paraphernalia around his appartment and seems to believe the germans were the good guys in the war.  This is as much information as we are given about why he is how he is or what drives him.  The movie just seems to be one long blood bath with occasional naked women thrown in.

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Week 111 - Murder Set Pieces

Year: 2004
Reviews / Author Comments due: 6/7/13
Reason for Inclusion: Refused classification on "risk of harm" grounds. Quote "The Board considered whether the issue could be dealt with through cuts. However, given the unacceptable content features throughout, and that what remains is essentially preparatory and set-up material for the unacceptable scenes."
BBFC Status: Still banned
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: R2 Import

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 29 June 2013

Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS - Will's Review

After the Naziploitation movies from the DPP list, I think we were both ready to turn our back on the genre forever; however, a reader on our FaceBook group requested / recommended this one, and so here we are.

I will say, right off the bat, that this is without question the best (or least-bad) Nazi movie we have watched; I'd even go as far as to say I enjoyed this one.

Ilsa She Wolf of the SS - Lisa's Review

* Spoilers *

When completing the 'Video Nasty' challenge, we watched quite a few movies like this.  It's a case of, once you've seen one you've seen them all.  I struggle with one aspect of this one though.  Who the hell was it made with in mind as the audience?

I would imagine the usual audience for sexploitation movies would be men (forgive me if you find that sexist, but I doubt many women get their jollys from this kind of thing and they're hardly made with drama or storyline in mind).  This movie is full of plenty of naked, beautiful young women, mostly of the large breasted variety, but with the premise of the movie in mind, I would imagine men wouldn't particularly enjoy the subject of the experiments which Ilsa is setting out to prove.  She intends to prove that woman can take more pain than men, to enable the government to take another look at laws preventing women to fight in the war alongside men, (you would think not being allowed to fight in a war would be seen as a good thing, but hey ho).

So, what can I tell you?  Lots of large breasted, naked woman being subjected to humiliation, horrible torture and rape, all to the glee of Ilsa and her equally large breasted, low-necklined officers.  The female officers also seem to like to dole out punishment by way of whips with no tops on... funny that...   Tortures shown include a pressure chamber, a bath of water at almost 89 degrees celsius, flogging, wounds being inflicted and filled with disease ridden maggot or gangrene, an electrified vibrator, insertion of horrid objects... the list could go on.  I would add, most torture shown is being carried out on always completely naked women.    There is also a horrid scene of a young woman standing on a block of ice with a noose around her neck.  Obviously as the ice melts she is slowly hung.  This is the centrepiece on the table while a superior officer who has been sent to visit is having dinner with Ilsa and the other officers.  Everyone loves it and look on in awe as the young woman suffers.

Sunday, 23 June 2013

WEEK 110 - Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS

Year: 1975
Reviews / Author Comments due: 29/06/1978
Reason for Inclusion: Reader requested.
BBFC Status:  Never submitted, therefore nominally banned
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: The Ilsa Triliogy (cheaper, after postage, than the single movie)

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 22 June 2013

Boogeyman 2 - Will's Review

As with last week, this will be a short review, and for much the same reason.

First, the (slightly) interesting bit; why this film exists:

Ulli Lommel was credited as director for both the original The Boogeyman, and first sequel, Revenge of The Boogyman, but in truth his Revenge credit only exists because of the footage recycled from the original. All the new stuff about the people trying to make a movie of the events in the first film, were directed by a 2nd unit director. Lommel decided that he wanted to make a directors cut of the 2nd film, and so Boogeyman 2: Redux was born.

Boogeyman 2 - Redux - Lisa's Review

Having now watched Boogeyman, Return of The Boogeyman, Revenge of The Boogeyman and now Boogeyman 2 - Redux, I'm not going to waste a lot of time on this review.  If you have any interest in The Boogeyman at all, just watch the first one.  The rest are basically a rehash of it anyway.

This movie is sadly no different.  Of the running time, about 90% is made up of footage of the original Boogeyman movie.  Believe it or not, they managed to get some footage from the second one in there too.  The only piece of footage that is new is an interspersed police interview with Ulli Lommel  (conducted 22 years after the event) that is being conducted.  He claims to have no proper recollection of the events, but manages to narrate the entire events that happen in the first movie.

I'm afraid folks, there is absolutely nothing more to it.  It seems Ulli Lommel wanted to create what he feels SHOULD have been the sequel to the original, so he completely ignored the fact Boogeyman 2 has already been made.

Sorry for the scant review, but really this movie should never have been released.  Big fat avoid obviously.

I spent the extra time tonight watching next weeks movie to review as I won't be available next week.

Monday, 17 June 2013

Week 109 - Boogeyman 2: Redux

Alternate Titles : Boogyman 2: Directors Cut
Year: 2002
Reviews / Author Comments due: 22/06/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Re-edit of DPP nasty "The Boogeyman"
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2007
More Info: No Wikipedia Page, IMDB page for original and redux versions

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Return of the Boogeyman - Will's Review

Man oh man, is this going to be a short review.

The 3rd movie in the Boogeyman trilogy is basically a framing device, wrapped around the first film.

I criticised the 2nd film for using too much footage of the first... I take it back. The 3rd entry in the series is probably 80% made up of footage from the first movie, albeit with a new VoiceOver.

Return of the Boogeyman - Lisa's Review

I'm not going to waste a lot of time on this weeks review, as to be honest there's very little to say.

Last year, myself and Will set ourselves the challenge to watch and review all of the movies on the DPP List (find our reviews HERE).  Amongst these movies were The Boogeyman and Revenge of the Boogeyman, the first 2 movies in this trilogy.  I give you links to these movies, purely as this movie is quite simply a rehash of flashbacks from The Boogeyman with a few minutes of new (and extremely poor) footage.  Revenge of the Boogeyman oddly enough was also a rehash of The Boogeyman.... Are they honestly so proud of this movie, they desire to make it 3 times???

This time we are treated to flashbacks to the first movie by way of visions of a supposed psychic who narrates over everything that is happening in every scene in a really monotone voice, to allow her psychiatrist an idea of what's going on.  It's honestly like some kind of help for ridiculously stupid people who always want to know 'what's happening?'... maybe they should introduce this option alongside subtitles?

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Week 108: Return of the Boogeyman

Alternate Titles : Boogeyman 3
Year: 1994
Reviews / Author Comments due: 15/06/2013
Reason for Inclusion: 3rd part of a trilogy, both of the first 2 of which were on the DPP list.
BBFC Status: Never submitted for classification, therefore nominally banned.
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: Region 1 import in a set with the first (but not 2nd) movie.

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 8 June 2013

Nekromantik 2 - Will's Review

Spoilers for a hard to find, crap sequel to a crap film follow.

Here we go again...

I really enjoyed writing last weeks review; despite the fact that the film was just bad (not "so bad it's good" just bad) there were still enough off-kilter parts that I could at least get my teeth into sagging it off.

That should be the case again with this equally dire sequel, but I fear my verve for criticising this series may have waned; as this is, essentially, the second half of the same movie.

The film opens with a recap of Rob's suicide, then carries on with the woman's shoe that we saw digging up his grave.

The shoe belongs to Monica - a new character, who takes Rob's green, shiny, rigid corpse home.

How she gets him home undetected, we do not; it remains a movie mystery up there with "how the hell did they get King Kong to New York?".

Anyway, having got him home, she slowly undresses him (he's still wearing his suicide clothes, by the way), licks its face, then sits on his unyielding chest (seriously - this is one rock solid corpse) staring at his dill-pickle penis and moaning, until she freaks out and runs to the bathroom to throw up.

The whole freak-out / Nausea thing is never mentioned again, ad she returns to her life of cadaver boffing with no further issues.

The sex scene is intercut with the introduction of another new character, Mark, who dubs porn films for a living. Just an aside, Mark is like everyone else in the movie, German; and yet, despite speaking German for the entire rest of the movie, clearly says at one point "just wait while I get a drink" in English. For no reason.

A recurring problem in this movie is that the casting director seems to have a thing for women who look a certain way, resulting in 3 separate characters who can easily be mistaken for each other; with that in mind Mark calls Monica 2, and arranges to go see a film with her (and really drives home to her about being in time).

Outside the cinema, Mark is annoyed to be waiting for Monika 2, when he runs into Monika, takes her instead, and the two begin dating.

The film within a film that the two of them go to see is a black and white art film, consisting of a naked couple, seated at a table in the middle of a landfill, eating an extraordinary number of hard boiled eggs, while talking about birds. We see entirely too much of it, and I can only assume that it is a short film the director made, and this was a sneaky way if getting it released!

Sometime during all of this, Minica 3 (who I believe is Rob's girlfriend from the first movie, given a new hairstyle and dress-sense, to look like Monica) visits Robs (still open) grave, and is disappointed to find it empty. This is never mentioned again.

Monica begins to question her 'relationship' with Rob, and decides to dispose of him (apart from his head and genitals obviously) by dismembering him, bagging him up, and putting him back in his grave.

The dismemberment, while gory, is not well done... It looks every inch like a woman sawing up a blood filled movie prop; and as far as the reburial goes, Rob's grabs is STILL open, and having filled it with blue bin bags, Monica leaves it that way!

Monica isn't the only one having relationship doubts... finding a cling-filmed, rancid, cock-and-balls in her fridge is one thing, being asked to pose as though dead for photographs, one almost expects in a relationship; but when he comes home to find a bunch of her mates watching a video of a (real) seal autopsy, he has to have a serious think about their future!

After consulting Monica 2 and a random drunk guy, Mark decides that shagging Monica will probably sort everything out... Except she beheads him mid coitus, straps a cock ring on his less-than-mighty erection, and fixes Rob's head onto the fresh body.

Which she then fucks until they climax together (yes, the dead body convulses with orgasm).

In a short 'sting' sequence, we find out that Monica is pregnant.

On a technical level, it is better made than the first one - although this is faint praise indeed. Certain shots are interestingly composed (at least in the first few scenes) and it doesn't have the 'first student film' quality that part one had (which, again, I'm not saying it was well filmed - just less-appallingly composed.

While Monica is trying to decide what do do about Mark (presumably this is when she decides to give him a head transplant) she goes for a wonder on the beach, which is reminiscent of Rob's nature walk in the first film (when he decides to kill himself) - wether this was dumb luck, or a thematic choice is impossible to guess but... Fuck it; I'm acting like this trash is worth studying!


Nekromantik 2 - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I always feel the need to warn of spoilers, even though the chances of anyone reading this review, never mind wanting to watch this movie is virtually nil.

Sooooo, following last weeks offering of Nekromantik, this week we have its sequel.  Is it any better? I'm afraid not.  Is it any worse?  Thankfully not.

The storyline is pretty much the same... odd person who gets her kicks from having sex with a corpse.  There is the same cringeworthy tonguing of aforementioned corpse and wierd sex scenes.  This time we follow a woman (Monika) who ironically digs up the corpse of the fellow Nekrophiliac and star of the first installment (Rob), who we saw commit suicide at the end of the last movie.  As I was watching, I had to mentally rebuff myself for actually treating this dross like it was worth any consideration as I mused that Rob would actually be rather pleased to know what became of him.  The ultimate in erotic for him surely?

The scene where Monika transports Rob home and undresses him is painfully slow and long-winded.  I'm like "Come on already!".  Maybe it was worth the wait to see the awful moment when she removed his trousers and we could see the corpses 'rubber' feet.  Anyways....

Alongside her new beau Rob, Monika also meets Mark (who dubs porn movies) and they immediately hit it off.   Although odd as he is (the scenes of him 'working' are actually pretty funny), even he has problems dealing with just how odd his new girlfriend seems to be.  Granted wanting him to not move an inch during sex and taking photos of him that make him appear to be dead could be considered a bit odd.   You would think her little quirk would be obvious.

Sunday, 2 June 2013

Week 107: Nekromantik 2

Alternate Titles : Nekromantik 2: Return of the Loving Dead
Year: 1991
Reviews / Author Comments due: 8/6/13
Reason for Inclusion: Banned in many countries, never submitted in the UK.
BBFC Status: Never Submitted
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: Hellishly expensive

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Nekromantik - Will's Review

As very few people read these things, and even fewer of those are likely to see this movie, I'm going to feel free to use spoilers. If you think you might be interested seeing in a poorly made, dull, corpse-fucking movie; stop reading now , and go track down a copy of Necromantic.

Nekromantik - Lisa's Review

***SPOILERS - if indeed you care***

Sometimes when I watch a movie, it takes me a while, sometimes a few days to decide whether I actually enjoyed the movie or not.  Strange maybe, but true.  A movie I thought was maybe just 'ok' in retrospect after a little bit of thought, I realise was actually quite good.

What has this got to do with this weeks movie I hear you ask?... well, this week that was not a problem at all.  I am in no doubt as to what I felt about Nekromantik.  If I didn't feel like a big, fat cheat for copying and pasting a dictionary definition for the word excrement as my review, that is exactly what you would be reading.

So why so bad?  Where do I start.  I'm not a person who is easily shocked.  Granted, I do have my limits.  I don't like watching any acts of cruelty which I know to be real.  There have been scenes of real animal deaths in some movies we have watched which I have found very difficult, but aside from that anything else is fair game really.  Don't get me wrong, there are staged scenes in movies, I find uncomfortable to watch, usually due to how they are portrayed, but gore generally doesn't offend me.

So to Nekromantik... I seem to be avoiding reviewing it thus far, for good reason really, I am struggling with the words to put together to give you any kind of idea as to how bad this movie actually is.

Monday, 27 May 2013

WEEK 106 - Nekromantic

Year: 1987
Reviews / Author Comments due: 01/06/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Banned in many countries, never submitted in the UK.
BBFC Status: Never Submitted
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: US import (R1)

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Army of Darkness - Will's Review.

Army of Darkness used to be one of my favorite films; in fact, I believe I saw it before I saw the original Evil Dead movies, and was initially disappointed by them in comparison.

That said, it was the mid 90's, and I was in my mid teens; With it's ramped up action and comedy, I think that teenage boys are exactly the target audience for the 3rd Evil Dead movie... How will it fare up now, while trying to look at it through adult eyes?

Army Of Darkness - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

If I were to review this movie as a sequel to Evil Dead 1 & 2, then it probably wouldn't fare too well with matters such as consistency.   I had never seen Evil Dead 1 nor 2 until recently, but I remember watching 'Army of Darkness' many years ago and enjoying it then.  Such is the level of fog in my brain, I remember absolutely nothing about the movie apart from the fact I liked it, so I sat down again this evening to re-watch.

I was glad not to be disappointed and found that I still enjoyed the movie.  For me, if taken as a standalone movie it is excellent, but you have to leave most of whats gone in the first 2 movies behind when you watch this one as the contradictions are endless.  Ash's character (although still played by Bruce Campbell) has completely changed, although IMO most definately for the better.   Where we start the movie with Bruce in the middle ages does not tally with the situation we left him in at the end of the second movie.   Although he was sent back to this time, we left him hailed as a hero by villagers for slaying a demon.  Army of Darkness has him pulled through a time portal and kidnapped by Lord Arthur, suspected of working alongside Duke Henry, who he is at war with.

Monday, 20 May 2013

Week 105 - Army Of Darkness

Alternate Titles : Evil Dead 3, The Medieval Dead
Year: 1992
Reviews / Author Comments due: 25/5/13
Reason for Inclusion: Third part of Evil Dead trilogy
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 1992
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Evil Dead 2 - Will's Review.

***Spoilers for the original Evil Dead***

Many people consider ED2 to be a remake of the original; I don't think that's entirely fair. It ovens with a remake of the pertinent points of the first movie (This time the croup is gone, with only Ash and his girlfriend Lynda traveling to the cabin), but by the 7 min mark, Ash is the only survivor, and an unseen force is rushing towards him - the final shot of the first movie.

Evil Dead II - Lisa's Review

So, I finally check out the sequel (or remake with a bigger budget as some would have you believe) to Evil Dead, aptly named Evil Dead 2.

From the get go, I'll say I really didn't like this movie AT ALL.  I know that possibly seems like a complete contradiction given that I really enjoyed the first Evil Dead movie, but this one didn't grab me at all.  I hadn't seen it before tonight and I expected something akin to the first movie with better effects.  Speaking of effects, while you can clearly see there is a bigger budget with this movie, I felt the effects were needless and in places ridiculous.  Looks like Buffy looked here for some of its ideas.  All the charm of Evil Dead seems lost in the attempt to bring this one up to date for the time.  Ironically it manages to date this movie even more than the first Evil Dead installment.

We have the same premise, albeit without the group of teenagers this time round.  A recorded message, which was meant as a warning is played, which contains passages from the Necronomicon (Book of the Dead).  This unleashes a demon which sets to possessing various people and inanimate objects throughout the course of the movie.

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Week 104 - Evil Dead II

Year: 1987
Reviews / Author Comments due: 18/05/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Sequel to DPP nasty, cut on release
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2001
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.