Saturday, 29 June 2013

Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS - Will's Review

After the Naziploitation movies from the DPP list, I think we were both ready to turn our back on the genre forever; however, a reader on our FaceBook group requested / recommended this one, and so here we are.

I will say, right off the bat, that this is without question the best (or least-bad) Nazi movie we have watched; I'd even go as far as to say I enjoyed this one.

Ilsa She Wolf of the SS - Lisa's Review

* Spoilers *

When completing the 'Video Nasty' challenge, we watched quite a few movies like this.  It's a case of, once you've seen one you've seen them all.  I struggle with one aspect of this one though.  Who the hell was it made with in mind as the audience?

I would imagine the usual audience for sexploitation movies would be men (forgive me if you find that sexist, but I doubt many women get their jollys from this kind of thing and they're hardly made with drama or storyline in mind).  This movie is full of plenty of naked, beautiful young women, mostly of the large breasted variety, but with the premise of the movie in mind, I would imagine men wouldn't particularly enjoy the subject of the experiments which Ilsa is setting out to prove.  She intends to prove that woman can take more pain than men, to enable the government to take another look at laws preventing women to fight in the war alongside men, (you would think not being allowed to fight in a war would be seen as a good thing, but hey ho).

So, what can I tell you?  Lots of large breasted, naked woman being subjected to humiliation, horrible torture and rape, all to the glee of Ilsa and her equally large breasted, low-necklined officers.  The female officers also seem to like to dole out punishment by way of whips with no tops on... funny that...   Tortures shown include a pressure chamber, a bath of water at almost 89 degrees celsius, flogging, wounds being inflicted and filled with disease ridden maggot or gangrene, an electrified vibrator, insertion of horrid objects... the list could go on.  I would add, most torture shown is being carried out on always completely naked women.    There is also a horrid scene of a young woman standing on a block of ice with a noose around her neck.  Obviously as the ice melts she is slowly hung.  This is the centrepiece on the table while a superior officer who has been sent to visit is having dinner with Ilsa and the other officers.  Everyone loves it and look on in awe as the young woman suffers.

Sunday, 23 June 2013

WEEK 110 - Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS

Year: 1975
Reviews / Author Comments due: 29/06/1978
Reason for Inclusion: Reader requested.
BBFC Status:  Never submitted, therefore nominally banned
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: The Ilsa Triliogy (cheaper, after postage, than the single movie)

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 22 June 2013

Boogeyman 2 - Will's Review

As with last week, this will be a short review, and for much the same reason.

First, the (slightly) interesting bit; why this film exists:

Ulli Lommel was credited as director for both the original The Boogeyman, and first sequel, Revenge of The Boogyman, but in truth his Revenge credit only exists because of the footage recycled from the original. All the new stuff about the people trying to make a movie of the events in the first film, were directed by a 2nd unit director. Lommel decided that he wanted to make a directors cut of the 2nd film, and so Boogeyman 2: Redux was born.

Boogeyman 2 - Redux - Lisa's Review

Having now watched Boogeyman, Return of The Boogeyman, Revenge of The Boogeyman and now Boogeyman 2 - Redux, I'm not going to waste a lot of time on this review.  If you have any interest in The Boogeyman at all, just watch the first one.  The rest are basically a rehash of it anyway.

This movie is sadly no different.  Of the running time, about 90% is made up of footage of the original Boogeyman movie.  Believe it or not, they managed to get some footage from the second one in there too.  The only piece of footage that is new is an interspersed police interview with Ulli Lommel  (conducted 22 years after the event) that is being conducted.  He claims to have no proper recollection of the events, but manages to narrate the entire events that happen in the first movie.

I'm afraid folks, there is absolutely nothing more to it.  It seems Ulli Lommel wanted to create what he feels SHOULD have been the sequel to the original, so he completely ignored the fact Boogeyman 2 has already been made.

Sorry for the scant review, but really this movie should never have been released.  Big fat avoid obviously.

I spent the extra time tonight watching next weeks movie to review as I won't be available next week.

Monday, 17 June 2013

Week 109 - Boogeyman 2: Redux

Alternate Titles : Boogyman 2: Directors Cut
Year: 2002
Reviews / Author Comments due: 22/06/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Re-edit of DPP nasty "The Boogeyman"
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2007
More Info: No Wikipedia Page, IMDB page for original and redux versions

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Return of the Boogeyman - Will's Review

Man oh man, is this going to be a short review.

The 3rd movie in the Boogeyman trilogy is basically a framing device, wrapped around the first film.

I criticised the 2nd film for using too much footage of the first... I take it back. The 3rd entry in the series is probably 80% made up of footage from the first movie, albeit with a new VoiceOver.

Return of the Boogeyman - Lisa's Review

I'm not going to waste a lot of time on this weeks review, as to be honest there's very little to say.

Last year, myself and Will set ourselves the challenge to watch and review all of the movies on the DPP List (find our reviews HERE).  Amongst these movies were The Boogeyman and Revenge of the Boogeyman, the first 2 movies in this trilogy.  I give you links to these movies, purely as this movie is quite simply a rehash of flashbacks from The Boogeyman with a few minutes of new (and extremely poor) footage.  Revenge of the Boogeyman oddly enough was also a rehash of The Boogeyman.... Are they honestly so proud of this movie, they desire to make it 3 times???

This time we are treated to flashbacks to the first movie by way of visions of a supposed psychic who narrates over everything that is happening in every scene in a really monotone voice, to allow her psychiatrist an idea of what's going on.  It's honestly like some kind of help for ridiculously stupid people who always want to know 'what's happening?'... maybe they should introduce this option alongside subtitles?

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Week 108: Return of the Boogeyman

Alternate Titles : Boogeyman 3
Year: 1994
Reviews / Author Comments due: 15/06/2013
Reason for Inclusion: 3rd part of a trilogy, both of the first 2 of which were on the DPP list.
BBFC Status: Never submitted for classification, therefore nominally banned.
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: Region 1 import in a set with the first (but not 2nd) movie.

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 8 June 2013

Nekromantik 2 - Will's Review

Spoilers for a hard to find, crap sequel to a crap film follow.

Here we go again...

I really enjoyed writing last weeks review; despite the fact that the film was just bad (not "so bad it's good" just bad) there were still enough off-kilter parts that I could at least get my teeth into sagging it off.

That should be the case again with this equally dire sequel, but I fear my verve for criticising this series may have waned; as this is, essentially, the second half of the same movie.

The film opens with a recap of Rob's suicide, then carries on with the woman's shoe that we saw digging up his grave.

The shoe belongs to Monica - a new character, who takes Rob's green, shiny, rigid corpse home.

How she gets him home undetected, we do not; it remains a movie mystery up there with "how the hell did they get King Kong to New York?".

Anyway, having got him home, she slowly undresses him (he's still wearing his suicide clothes, by the way), licks its face, then sits on his unyielding chest (seriously - this is one rock solid corpse) staring at his dill-pickle penis and moaning, until she freaks out and runs to the bathroom to throw up.

The whole freak-out / Nausea thing is never mentioned again, ad she returns to her life of cadaver boffing with no further issues.

The sex scene is intercut with the introduction of another new character, Mark, who dubs porn films for a living. Just an aside, Mark is like everyone else in the movie, German; and yet, despite speaking German for the entire rest of the movie, clearly says at one point "just wait while I get a drink" in English. For no reason.

A recurring problem in this movie is that the casting director seems to have a thing for women who look a certain way, resulting in 3 separate characters who can easily be mistaken for each other; with that in mind Mark calls Monica 2, and arranges to go see a film with her (and really drives home to her about being in time).

Outside the cinema, Mark is annoyed to be waiting for Monika 2, when he runs into Monika, takes her instead, and the two begin dating.

The film within a film that the two of them go to see is a black and white art film, consisting of a naked couple, seated at a table in the middle of a landfill, eating an extraordinary number of hard boiled eggs, while talking about birds. We see entirely too much of it, and I can only assume that it is a short film the director made, and this was a sneaky way if getting it released!

Sometime during all of this, Minica 3 (who I believe is Rob's girlfriend from the first movie, given a new hairstyle and dress-sense, to look like Monica) visits Robs (still open) grave, and is disappointed to find it empty. This is never mentioned again.

Monica begins to question her 'relationship' with Rob, and decides to dispose of him (apart from his head and genitals obviously) by dismembering him, bagging him up, and putting him back in his grave.

The dismemberment, while gory, is not well done... It looks every inch like a woman sawing up a blood filled movie prop; and as far as the reburial goes, Rob's grabs is STILL open, and having filled it with blue bin bags, Monica leaves it that way!

Monica isn't the only one having relationship doubts... finding a cling-filmed, rancid, cock-and-balls in her fridge is one thing, being asked to pose as though dead for photographs, one almost expects in a relationship; but when he comes home to find a bunch of her mates watching a video of a (real) seal autopsy, he has to have a serious think about their future!

After consulting Monica 2 and a random drunk guy, Mark decides that shagging Monica will probably sort everything out... Except she beheads him mid coitus, straps a cock ring on his less-than-mighty erection, and fixes Rob's head onto the fresh body.

Which she then fucks until they climax together (yes, the dead body convulses with orgasm).

In a short 'sting' sequence, we find out that Monica is pregnant.

On a technical level, it is better made than the first one - although this is faint praise indeed. Certain shots are interestingly composed (at least in the first few scenes) and it doesn't have the 'first student film' quality that part one had (which, again, I'm not saying it was well filmed - just less-appallingly composed.

While Monica is trying to decide what do do about Mark (presumably this is when she decides to give him a head transplant) she goes for a wonder on the beach, which is reminiscent of Rob's nature walk in the first film (when he decides to kill himself) - wether this was dumb luck, or a thematic choice is impossible to guess but... Fuck it; I'm acting like this trash is worth studying!


Nekromantik 2 - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I always feel the need to warn of spoilers, even though the chances of anyone reading this review, never mind wanting to watch this movie is virtually nil.

Sooooo, following last weeks offering of Nekromantik, this week we have its sequel.  Is it any better? I'm afraid not.  Is it any worse?  Thankfully not.

The storyline is pretty much the same... odd person who gets her kicks from having sex with a corpse.  There is the same cringeworthy tonguing of aforementioned corpse and wierd sex scenes.  This time we follow a woman (Monika) who ironically digs up the corpse of the fellow Nekrophiliac and star of the first installment (Rob), who we saw commit suicide at the end of the last movie.  As I was watching, I had to mentally rebuff myself for actually treating this dross like it was worth any consideration as I mused that Rob would actually be rather pleased to know what became of him.  The ultimate in erotic for him surely?

The scene where Monika transports Rob home and undresses him is painfully slow and long-winded.  I'm like "Come on already!".  Maybe it was worth the wait to see the awful moment when she removed his trousers and we could see the corpses 'rubber' feet.  Anyways....

Alongside her new beau Rob, Monika also meets Mark (who dubs porn movies) and they immediately hit it off.   Although odd as he is (the scenes of him 'working' are actually pretty funny), even he has problems dealing with just how odd his new girlfriend seems to be.  Granted wanting him to not move an inch during sex and taking photos of him that make him appear to be dead could be considered a bit odd.   You would think her little quirk would be obvious.

Sunday, 2 June 2013

Week 107: Nekromantik 2

Alternate Titles : Nekromantik 2: Return of the Loving Dead
Year: 1991
Reviews / Author Comments due: 8/6/13
Reason for Inclusion: Banned in many countries, never submitted in the UK.
BBFC Status: Never Submitted
More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB
DVD: Hellishly expensive

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Nekromantik - Will's Review

As very few people read these things, and even fewer of those are likely to see this movie, I'm going to feel free to use spoilers. If you think you might be interested seeing in a poorly made, dull, corpse-fucking movie; stop reading now , and go track down a copy of Necromantic.

Nekromantik - Lisa's Review

***SPOILERS - if indeed you care***

Sometimes when I watch a movie, it takes me a while, sometimes a few days to decide whether I actually enjoyed the movie or not.  Strange maybe, but true.  A movie I thought was maybe just 'ok' in retrospect after a little bit of thought, I realise was actually quite good.

What has this got to do with this weeks movie I hear you ask?... well, this week that was not a problem at all.  I am in no doubt as to what I felt about Nekromantik.  If I didn't feel like a big, fat cheat for copying and pasting a dictionary definition for the word excrement as my review, that is exactly what you would be reading.

So why so bad?  Where do I start.  I'm not a person who is easily shocked.  Granted, I do have my limits.  I don't like watching any acts of cruelty which I know to be real.  There have been scenes of real animal deaths in some movies we have watched which I have found very difficult, but aside from that anything else is fair game really.  Don't get me wrong, there are staged scenes in movies, I find uncomfortable to watch, usually due to how they are portrayed, but gore generally doesn't offend me.

So to Nekromantik... I seem to be avoiding reviewing it thus far, for good reason really, I am struggling with the words to put together to give you any kind of idea as to how bad this movie actually is.