Sunday, 7 July 2013

Murder Set Pieces - Wills Review

I'm not one for multiple drafts*, but I do like to spend a while thinking about what kind of thing I want to say in a review long before I put fingers to keyboard**; I'll walk around the house, constructing paragraphs in my head, thinking about if I should mention this bit, and how I can segue from one point to another. This week; I have struggled to find things to say.

The reason for my struggle is the plot, which is unbelievably thin: A photographer / neo-nazi, captures, then rapes and kills a whole bunch of women with fake breasts.

And that's it.

There is what threatens to be a plot; the photographer has a girlfriend, and the girlfriends little sister is suspicious of him, but it goes nowhere.

There are a couple of other go-nowhere scenes that act as though they are about to introduce a plot, but which really exist to put in some horror-icon cameos; Gunner 'Leatherface' Hanson plays a redneck who pimps out his daughter to the photographer, an Tony 'Candyman' Todd plays a video store clerk who the photographer first saves from a hold-up, an then kills.

The gore is well done, and the murders and rapes look real enough, but the acting is atrocious.

Oh, and one more thing; if you are ever planning on killing a couple of women, and you convince them to have a threesome with you, once you're all naked and on the bed, it seems to me that you may as well have your ménage à trois... You can still kill them later. Not this idiot though! He kills them just as things are getting interesting.

Realistic gore is not enough to rescue a movie; for acting, (lack of) plot, and the idiocy of the main character: Avoid!

*Which shoes.
** Which Doesn't


  1. Interesting how you put together a review.. maybe I should start to do that. I just start typing without having any idea what i'm going to say.

    Agreed on the gore and realism, but maybe the plot was so thin as theres little else to say about such an individual. He just lives for the kills, also why he isn't particularly interested in the threesome for sexual reasons. It seemed to me sex was only used as a torture/punishment.

    I noticed most women in the movie had very peculiar implants.....

  2. I'm not sure "I've written a two-dementional character" is a good excuse to not write a plot.

    Besides; a plot wouldn't have to be about him as such; it could follow a victim.

    That said, lack of plot doesn't have to be a reason for a bad film: look at the original Halloween! There was almost no plot (the "sister" thing wasn't even introduced until part 2; although its been edited into some cuts of part 1 retroactively) and Myers isn't exactly a rounded character.

    So I guess it's not even lack of plot that's the problem: it's poor execution of the no-plot.

  3. Peculiar? One if the threesome girls looked like skin stretched over Tupperware!