Saturday, 3 August 2013

Anthropophagous 2000 - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS *** (for what it's worth)

There are sometimes weeks when the movie isn't that hot, sometimes it's awful and sometimes we are very tempted to write "This was absolute shite" and leave it at that.  Sadly, for me, this was the latter.

This movie is a remake of 1980 movie of the same name (removing the 2000).  While the original movie wasn't all that hot, this one is just absolute bollocks!  I suppose I should elaborate as to why I felt this was the case?

I'm not going to go into detail as to the premise, as I very much doubt anyone will want to see this movie on the strength of my review.  Man kills his wife when she refuses to let him eat their dead child to survive after an accident at sea.  He eats them both and then goes mad and kills and eats other people.  That should about sum it up for you.  Why didn't I enjoy it?

The acting was probably amongst the worst I have seen.  The gore looked like something a GSCE art student produced (that's probably an insult to GCSE art students).  Victims are replaced with what looks like a rubber model of themselves (that bears absolutely no resemblance to them) and then over the top, unrealistic, ridiculous gore is spattered upon us.

 In one specific scene I struggled to understand what actual body part is being tugged out of one victims mouth... it looked like intestines (much too long for the tongue), but since the killer put his hand to the back of the victims throat and pulled, it's anyones guess.

Arms and heads are forcibly pulled off simply by the sheer strength of our bad guy.  Various bits which should be anatomically there are not and vice versa.  Victims flail about and make no attempt whatsoever to run.  A pregnant woman flounders on her back and allows her stomach to be cut open and her unborn baby to be lifted out and bitten into, with nothing more than a few squeals.

The bad guy himself tugs out his own innards and chews on them after being shot multiple times and STILL has the strength to give chase to the last survivor and try to kill him!

If the gore scenes are laughable, then you have to see the sex scenes.  I have never seen such passionless love making in all my life.  The actors looked positively bored shitless!  On one positive point, nice to see tattoos, piercings and long haired dudes in movies.

I don't think there is much else I can say about this movie.  I HATED it.  I didn't even laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.  I didn't have to think twice about slapping a big fat AVOID on its ass!

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