Saturday, 23 February 2013

Stalker - Lisa's Review


I put 'spoilers' as my first word here, but I doubt it will spoil anything for anyone, for as unlikely as it is that anyone besides me and Will are actually reading these review, its even more unlikely anyone who didn't 'have' to watch this movie would have any desire to... even less so after reading my review I would imagine.

So, here we have Martin Kemps first directorial debut with Stalker, a movie described as a 'remake of Expose' (a movie we watched for the Nasties challenge).  Here instead of the delectable Udo Kier as the author Paul Martin, we have a rather dull, non inspiring female author called Paula Martin.

The basic premis is that she has a best selling book behind her and has had a difficult time and a nervous breakdown.  She retreats to a beautiful mansion in the middle of the country to seek inspiration and peace to write her second novel.  What follows could be compared to a mish-mash of movies... 'Single white female, 'Misery', 'Identity'... unfortunately it falls far short on every level when compared with any of these movies.

An assistant (Linda) is sent to help Paula with the typing of her novel.  Things all seem to be going swimmingly well (asides from what appears to be a rather uncomfortable over familiarity with Linda and Paula), then Paula continues to get increasingly more and more irate at her writers block.  This mild mannered, quiet, gentle woman is prone to hissy fits it seems.  Linda, seemingly wanting to help starts to write for Paula.   Initially absolutely furious at this intrusion and insult, Paula gives it to Linda both barrels.  That seems to be the last we see of Paula as the woman we have been introduced to.

From this point onwards, it becomes clear that Linda has a nasty plan and seems to want to take over Paulas life.  She advises her to have a day of rest as she is mentally troubled and feeling unwell.  Meanwhile she deals with everything for Paula.  'Dealing with things' includes murdering a rather nosey journalist who has been trying to get an interview with Paula (mostly about her breakdown) for a long time.  He can't believe his luck when Linda lets him in and she is openly agreeable to the interview (he thinks she is Paula).  The murder is probably the only thing is the movie that doesn't make me want to take to my bed for a loooong sleep.  It is rather convincing and a nice use of cheese wire I thought.

Linda also dispenses with the housekeeper by way of a hammer into the eye socket.   At this point Paula realises all is not well (she doesn't know about the murders) and Lindas intentions are not as they appear to be.  She realises she has been locked in her room and cannot get out.

So if you've zzzz'd along with me for this long, heres where the twist comes in.  If you don't want to know, don't read on....

Throughout the film we have had brief scenes with a past physician and friend of Paulas called Leo.  We find out a little more each time he is shown.  Apparently he dealt with her when she went through her breakdown.  We also cut to scenes of Paulas publicist Sara, who gets together for a meal with Leo where they discuss Paula.  Here it is revealed that Paula and Linda are one in the same person and Linda has been 'stalking' Paula since she was a child.  Paula has always been very troubled due to the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father.  She tells us (as Linda) she pulled his spleen out of him when he was on top of her.  We also see flashback scenes showing this, which had been flashed to us throughout the movie, but made no sense until this time.

We move on to Leo travelling to the house with Sara to see Paula.  He is panicked because he finds out the journalist has gone to see her and is worried for his safety.  This visit leads to Leos murder by way of a knife in the back.  Sara escapes into a wooded area and when Linda/Paula eventually catches up to her, she pushes her backwards into a tree which impales and kills her.  All very quick...completely unlike the first 3/4 of the movie.

So... everyone at the house is dead, yet there is a spectacular book on a laptop which Saras beady eyes have seen... so how does the movie end?  Yup,. as predictably as the old 'split personality' slant... Sara publishes it as her own... *YAWN*

This movie was MONUMENTALLY dull.  The last 15 minutes were much better than the previous hour, but I don't think it was worth it for something that I had guessed long before it was revealed.   I would suggest if you have no need to see this movie, AVOID it.  Big fat waste of time.


  1. Not that I can blame you if you nodded off and missed it, but it was her brother who used to abuse her.

    At least it was a short movie...

  2. Her brother?? Ahhh I see. The bit where it has her shouting about what happened was always kind of cut off and garbled at the start so I thought she said father.